glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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