I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
