You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
