In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
