he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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