He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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