hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
