Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The air was thick with penises
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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