If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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