It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
