you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
