Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
