I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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