Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
