Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
