do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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