Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
