his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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