This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
