I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
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In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
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It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does