My first STD was from a foam party
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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