haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
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I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
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I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?