My room smells like vodka and shame
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult