Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
