remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
