he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
