Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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