I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I wish you could order shots online.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
