just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
