hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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