Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
