Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
