I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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