why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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