I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
