everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
