I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
