Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
