Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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