Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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