been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
