Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
