just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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