I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
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