Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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