Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
id be glad to
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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