so let's talk penis.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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