dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
