haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
