this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
