I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
