I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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