Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
