Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
