my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
