some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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