Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
