Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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