Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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