Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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