is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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